Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
