Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
