I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
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