Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
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So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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