fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize