I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
