pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
