YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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