dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My vagina just recognized that song.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
