Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
