OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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