so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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