you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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