Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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