i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
