Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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