And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
