Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
