Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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