It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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