is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
