You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
