You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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