its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
