I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
