I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
