so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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