So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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