Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think a kid would responsible me up
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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