We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
