How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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