I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am spending my child support on dildos
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
