Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
