I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
