The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
