I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am naked and annoyed.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
