Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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