I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
