is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
