oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
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We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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