The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
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You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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