Tell her she can't have a vagina
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
