people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
