Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
