So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
