Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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