he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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