every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
