I need help removing her.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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