i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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