on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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