I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
