Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
