If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
