Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Panties = found
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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