the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
