I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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