Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
