it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she peed on how many people?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
