i just google imaged poop.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
