are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My dick has a subreddit
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
