I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
